“I hope you don’t end up with the Titanic,” grinned a baby-eyed border-control agent at Miami International Airport.
I’d spent the last hour trudging through a queue of approximately 600 people, each recovering from various long-haul flights and awaiting their turn to be looked up and down by one of three despotic passport control officers on duty. Most people made it through unscathed (if drained). When it's finally my turn, I’m informed that I don’t look anything like my passport photo, and – after having my fingerprints taken – I’m sent packing through a migraine-inducing corridor with the aforementioned baby-eyed border control agent waiting at the other end. He asks me, in not so many words, what the hell I’m doing in Miami. Meekly, I reply, “I‘m going on the Icon of the Seas.” I don’t mention that it’s the world's biggest, most hyped cruise ship – that would be weird of me.
“Of course you are,” he replies, eyes rolling, Titanic jibe incoming. Somehow, I think he would rather like to see me on the ocean floor. And as an anxious traveller, I’d already given it some considerable thought.
While I tend to love the idea of going on holiday, my sympathetic nervous system (the one that regulates the body's response to stressful situations) baulks at the logistics (not to mention the imagined perils) of overseas travel. What if my passport is about to expire? What if I've accidentally packed an aerosol in my hand luggage? What if my dog gets stuck behind the shed while I'm away? What if the person next to me on the plane starts coughing uncontrollably? What if the plane crashes? On my way to Miami, I was forced to navigate all of the above situations (bar that last one, obvs); it wasn't a promising start.
Still, as one of the first people in the world to board the Icon of the Seas, I knew I was about to embark on a once-in-a-lifetime adventure. And better yet? My 21-year-old sister, Alex, just happened to be a crew member on the ship as a massage therapist; this would be the first time I'd seen her in months. And I could bring our other sister, Lydia (are you keeping up?!) along for the ride. Anxiety be damned, here's how I fared on the world's biggest cruise ship…
Icon of the Seas at a glance:
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- It is approximately 1,198ft long and weighs 250,800 gross tonnes (five times larger than the Titanic, FYI)
- Has 20 decks, including 40 dining venues and bars, a theatre, and the biggest ice arena ever built on a cruise ship
- Contains eight ‘neighbourhoods’, each embodying a distinct vibe, e.g. “Thrill Island” is for surfing, mini-golf, and rock climbing; “Chill Island” is for margaritas by the pool(s)
- Includes the largest waterpark at sea with seven pools, six water slides and an infinity pool
- At full capacity, it can accommodate 7600 guests
- It's home to Rover, a golden retriever who lives aboard the ship
- There are 28 types of rooms to choose from, starting with the more affordable staterooms, ranging from the interior class (no windows and quite a squish) to an Ocean View Infinite Balcony (complete with ocean views, duh, and lots of space). If you've got the cash to splash, suites are available in three classes, containing more space, more room amenities, and access to a personal concierge.
Having already checked in via the Royal Caribbean app, which all guests are encouraged to do, the embarkation process was seamless, a far cry from my traumatising journey across the pond. With my passport and ‘Sea Pass’ in hand, we were through security in a matter of minutes.
While Lydia and I waited for our rooms to become available, we went for a wander along the running track, a two-lane feature on Deck 5. Only then could we truly appreciate the magnitude of the Icon of the Seas; it took us roughly 10 minutes to speed-walk the length of the ship before we were kindly ushered back inside by a friendly crew member who informed us that the rooms were officially open.
As someone who enjoys her own space, I was apprehensive about sharing a cabin – and a bed – with my sister, Lydia. At 196 sqft per cabin, it could have been a squeeze. However, I was genuinely surprised by how rarely we got in each other's way. In fact, we devised an effective system whereby at any one time, one of us would be reclining on the (very comfortable) bed, leaving the other ample space to pick an outfit, dry their hair, and have a good old potter.
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Our balcony (50 sqft) overlooked Central Park – yep, an actual park with over 10,000 plants, trees, and flowers climbing up the walls. We could see right across into the opposite cabins and realised (a little too late, in Lydia's case) that they could see us, too. Who needs a sea view, eh?
Central Park is also home to some tempting fine dining spots, including Chops Grill, a classic all-American steakhouse; Izumi Hibachi & Sushi, an Asian-inspired selection whipped up right at your table by an expert chef; and, of course, a dedicated rosé and champers bar – suffice to say, I spent a lot of time there. If you're in a feasting mood, you can head up to the Windjammer for a variety of buffet options. Meanwhile, if you fancy something altogether posher, you can book a table in the main dining room – I recommend the French onion soup.
Of course, for Lydia and me, the main attraction of the cruise was meeting a certain crew member: our sister, Alex, who was working hard at the Vitality℠ Spa. We were so impressed by the treatments on offer, including massages, wraps, facials and acupuncture – as well as the luxurious spa products from brands such as Elemis®, bliss®, La Thérapie and Ionithermie. You can even get your teeth whitened if that's your jam. While Alex was delivering service with a smile to our fellow guests, Lydia and I relaxed on the hot stone beds – the perfect treatment for our tired old legs.
We had two full days to lap up what Icon of the Seas had to offer. On our first full day, we awoke to find the ship had docked outside CocoCay, a private island in the Bahamas enjoyed exclusively by Royal Caribbean guests. For obvious reasons, I headed straight to ‘Hideaway Beach’, billed as an all-day, adults-only party. While the “DJ mash-ups” were a little too loud for my delicate ears, the “swim-up bar”, crispy chicken sandwiches from the Hideaway Hut, and, of course, the phenomenal island views easily converted me to the Copacabana lifestyle.
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Elsewhere on the island, easily accessible via a shuttle bus, Lydia 'tested' the 14 waterslides at the Thrill Waterpark, which features the biggest wave pool in the Caribbean, Daredevils Peak (the tallest slide in North America), and plenty of obstacles in the Adventure Pool.
Unsurprisingly, when day two rolled around, we decided to chill out. Regular exercise is vital for managing my anxiety, and thankfully, being aboard a massive cruise ship didn't stop me from getting my fix. I hit the running track at 7 am, which was a novel, slightly unnerving experience. My Strava still hasn't forgiven me. Next up, I trained at the ship's state-of-the-art fitness centre. Here, I settled onto a treadmill facing out onto the open sea and settled into a steady running rhythm for an hour or so – ready to let myself enjoy a day of relaxation.
My plans were scuppered when I saw how many activities were offered throughout the ship. Royal Caribbean promotes Icon of the Seas as a truly multi-generational experience, with something on board for everyone. But when they included a FlowRider, a 12-metre-long surf simulator, Adrenaline Peak℠, a rock climbing wall, and a Zipline, they probably didn't imagine it would appeal to a 28-year-old British woman with anxiety. And yet it was these family-friendly activities – staffed by the ships' incredible sports staff – that truly helped me loosen the eff up and enjoy myself.
Don't get me wrong, I still don't consider myself a ‘cruiser’, but Icon of the Seas enabled me to push the limits of my comfort zone in, well, the most comfortable way possible. Just don't get me started on the return flight home.
For more from Glamour UK's Lucy Morgan, follow her on Instagram @lucyalexxandra.
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