Samira Wiley pens a powerful letter to her younger self: 'Somewhere in the world, there's a little girl who looks like you and loves like you, and you're helping her feel less alone'

At the 16th GLAMOUR Women of the Year Awards, in partnership with Samsung, we’re honouring those women who aren’t afraid to challenge the status quo and reshape the world. From activism to acting, our winners are working across a variety of industries to make the world a better, more equal place.

Taking home the award for Theatre Actor, Samira Wiley is a force to be reckoned with. The Juilliard-trained actor has risen to prominence with major television roles in Orange Is The New Black and The Handmaid's Tale while also becoming a role model and advocate for LGBTQ rights. However, the journey has not come easy, as 35-year-old Samira reflects on in a candid letter to her younger self.

Dear Samira,

Your parents are both pastors at a Baptist church in Washington DC, and when you're older, people will make a lot of assumptions about their feelings. "You wanted to be an actor, what did your parents think of that?" Or, "You're in a same-sex relationship, what did your parents think of that?" Actually, they've always been super-cool and very progressive, so as you grow up, you'll feel supported, loved and empowered to be who you are. That's not to say life will always be easy, though, particularly when it comes to your career. There'll be major challenges before you can finally say you're totally confident in who you are and your place in the world. 

Since you were a child, you've been passionate about the theatre, but you don't believe you're a talented actor. You're in a drama programme at school, but you never get cast in speaking roles. You think, OK, maybe I could be an usher in a regional theatre, so at least you can be close to the world you love. But you don't see any Black, gay women on TV, so you assume that path probably isn't for you. You don't know how to dream that big. 

I'm sorry to tell you that you'll audition for so many drama schools and get rejected at every single place. When you eventually try for Juilliard, the prestigious performing arts school in New York aged 19, you won't want anybody to know – not even your mother - because the rejection feels so intense. But shockingly, you'll get in. And it'll be the first time you'll start to think maybe you are talented; maybe you can do this. 

When fame arrives, though, you'll find it totally overwhelming. There you are, working as a bartender on the Upper West Side in New York City, hoping to become a Broadway staple – someone respected by other stage actors but who can walk around without getting recognised – when suddenly, a show on a new streaming site will change everything, literally overnight. When Orange is the New Black is released on Netflix in 2013, you'll feel like your life has ended. Suddenly everyone will know who you are for your character, Poussey. You're a small person, and when people try to touch you and follow you home, it will terrify you. It will be awful, and you'll want to fight against it with everything you have. 

You'll also worry about the public discovering your sexuality. A lot of people in your life will tell you it's not something to share. They'll say you'll be typecast; that doors will be closed to you. Some will even suggest pretending to be straight to make yourself more marketable. Much of the advice will be well-meaning, but it will take time to learn that it's coming from those people's own experiences and fears, and they're not yours. In the midst of all that noise, it will be hard to find your centre. For a long time, you won't know where your own voice is. You'll feel so unsure of yourself, hiding who you know yourself to be and thinking you're no good at what you want to do in life. You won't even understand the value of sitting down and asking yourself how you really feel.

But you'll come to realise that one of the qualities you value most is authenticity: being true to who you are, not lying or trying to hide it. As a young woman, you don't feel seen. It's hard for you to work out who you are when there are no examples to look to. You'll learn how powerful it is, to be honest about something which makes you feel alienated or isolated and have someone say, 'Me too.'  Your biggest challenge will be to accept your path. It will take time, but you'll realise that you can take your platform and use it to be a champion for the LGBTQ community and for Black women, and that will help make sense of why this is all happening to you. You'll find inspiration in the thought that somewhere in the world, there's a little girl who looks like you and loves like you, and by doing what you do, you're helping her feel less alone.

When you embrace this purpose, you'll be rewarded with work that has meaning. When Poussey dies in OITNB at the hands of a prison officer, it reflects the brutality suffered by many Black people. In The Handmaid's Tale, Moira experiences unimaginable trauma in a dystopian world, which has chilling echoes of the ways women are stripped of agency in the real one. As the series goes on, she learns to heal and reclaim herself by helping refugees fleeing Gilead. Even the friendship between Moira and June, the character played by Elisabeth Moss, feels like a step forward. June is straight and white, Moira gay and Black, yet they're two peas in a pod, at least at the start. Their ethnicity and sexuality does not define them or prevent their bond. Their relationship reflects the diversity of the friendship group you'll have as an adult. 

These roles will connect with people. You'll meet a mother who kicked her queer child out of her home because it was against her religion. She'll tell you that after watching Poussey, the character you brought to life, she let her child back into her home. You'll start to feel that giving a voice to communities that feel marginalised is an incredible privilege. The age you'll find yourself living in – working, marrying, raising a daughter in – is one that's made real progress. There will be more opportunities for women in your industry as well as others, and so much more diversity presented on-screen.

The age you'll find yourself living in – working, marrying, raising a daughter in – is one that's made real progress. There will be more opportunities for women in your industry as well as others, and so much more diversity presented on-screen. You'll marry an amazing, talented woman, Lauren Morelli, a writer on OITNB, and you'll have a baby girl, George, in 2021. Some of the barriers to our success, such as discrimination and harassment, will start to crumble. But there'll also be so much noise everywhere. So many people will have so much to say, and the divisions between us all will feel more stark than ever. All you can do is try to find common ground that always exists with everyone you meet, even if their views seem worlds away from your own. You'll learn you have the ability to make people feel seen, and that will carry you through hard times. 

But the most important lesson you'll learn is to tune out everyone else's opinion and start to listen to yourself. You'll stop judging yourself, dismissing your thoughts as stupid, and start loving yourself fiercely for who you are. When you do that, that's when you'll have courage and conviction – and that's what empowerment is.